It's the little things...

Well, Ellie's Wildcat spirit ALMOST carried us all the way...Since it was the first weekend in several months I've not been under the weather with morning sickness, Chris and I had some friends over to cheer on the Cats Saturday night. It was pretty tense around here... At one point, we thought Chris was going to make us some money selling his blood pressure pills. Then today, we had one of my friends from work over with her husband and daughter. Ellie got to be the BIG girl in a friendship for the first time! She LOVED little Brookelyn and her pink courderoy jeans! This mommy got busy very quickly trying to teach "Gentle, Ellie, gentle...". Anyway, all in all, another wonderful weekend together.

Meal Time is a little messier when Ellie has a hand in it...



Cheering on the Cats during play time...



Future BFFs...

Ellie Therapy

Chris and I were blessed enough to be able to spend the week at home together after our news last week. Being completely honest, it's been quite up and down for us emotionally. But, I will say we are coming out stronger than we ever have been. With the unbelievable, sacrificial and unconditional love we have been covered with through this, we know that God is good. As my dear friend said today, sometimes instead of saying "There's a reason" it helps to remember "God has a plan". This much is true. Ever since 1999, in the back of my Bible I've recorded three to five verses through each year that I feel describe my place, my learning, my trials and my blessings that year. On Wednesday when I went in to go through the D & C procedure, I read and recorded the first verse for 2010. Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God." Somehow, the tranquility my spirit breathes through this verse ,despite the grief my heart still bears, reminds me, the Lord is good. Somehow this is best demonstrated to us through the beauty of our daughter. As every parent feels about their child, she's wonderful. Crawling, standing, somewhat-cruising, babbling, she's been such a light.

Yesterday's Sad News

I don't really have a lot of words right now, but wanted to share with my friends and family that Chris and I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that our baby has passed away. We are completely shocked as I haven't had any symptoms and we are grieving right now, but we know God is good and we are so thankful for our Ellie, our family, His blessings. He is good all the time; all the time He is good.

Three Snow Days from Above

Tuesday was my first day back at work for 2010 and it felt good to start to get back into routine....but lo and behold, between the six inches of snow ON TOP OF the six inches from Christmas still frozen to the ground as well as the negative 25 degree windchill as a HIGH for the day, Wednesday, Thursday and today were all snow days for pretty much all of the school districts in Kansas City! Snow days are always nice, but ever since catching on to the fact that these days get tacked on to the end of our school year, they aren't quite the novelty they used to be, but I do believe the Lord knew what he was doing as I've been SO sick these days! My morning sickness set in a few days after Christmas, and I swear I don't remember it being this bad before! I haven't actually gotten sick, I just am dizzy and feel sick all day. I tried some medicine but it caused too many other problems so now I'm taking half of a pill of Unisom (a sleep aid...exactly what an EXHAUSTED first trimester momma needs) and a B6 vitamin pill every eight hours. This helps some...mostly I'm just thankful for my patient husband and low key daughter keeping me going. Ellie's had to be pretty low maintenance with my low energy level. I think I'm "napping while they baby's napping" more now than I ever did when she was born...but as soon as school kicks back into gear, I'll have to make something else work. It's been really fun to chill (literally...) with Ellie these few days, she's been pulling up to a stand, taking a few steps with her walker and even crawling up our half-flights of steps - keeps momma on the move! It's been such a special thing being a teacher AND a mom...every break we get is some new milestone for my little girl and I get to enjoy it in stages! She's going to be such a great big sister - 17 months apart! Well...somewhere between 17 and 18 months apart. I go to the doctor January 18th and I believe this is when I'll hear our little "grape" (about an inch long this week and about an ounce heavy) and his/her precious heartbeat. I thought it would feel "different" this time, more real, somehow less of an unbelieveable miracle. Nope. Just as surreal. Just as miraculous.

A few last Christmas pictures and the gift we shared...

A few last pictures from Christmas...



When we got home from our Christmas trip to Great Bend, we tried out Ellie's walker...A few first "steps"...


And the main "gift" we gave our familes:

If you can't read the fine print...August 13th is circled as "Ellie's due to be a big sister!" We knew for a little over a week before sharing this thrilling news with our family at our Christmas celebrations with them! God is good!